The Big H

Yasue, Yuki and I headed to Hiroshima last weekend for a much needed night-away-from Tokuyama. While we were trying to navigate around the bar/club district, we accidentally bumped into Casey and Nicky on the street and followed them to club Roxis for the Hiroshima JET Leaver's party. It was great to see some folks I knew from the ken for possibly the last time, but the venue was shitty, hot, and crowded. The music also sucked hard-core and I spent more time trying to drain my armpits in front of the A/C than on the dancefloor. But I guess you can make do when drinks are 300Yen all night.

Damn. I just wanted to dance! Is there any place in Japan where I can find a sane looking club with decent hip-hop beats and without marines trying to grind you from all sides with their dicks?

Anyway, I'm going back to the Big H on Friday with Hiro (the owner of Ell's Ditch) to catch my first Japanese pro baseball game. Maybe I'll get more satisfaction from this weekend's city trip.

:(

I just found out that a casual aquaintance of mine died yesterday after a one year battle fighting leukemia.

She used to sit in front of me in ethics class. We also had mutual friends so we would usually go to the same parties or small gatherings. The last time I saw her was at my graduation party a year ago. She was only 22.

R.I.P. Jennifer Roosenberg.

Morning wake up call.

WHOA.

I woke up at 5 this morning with the windows rattling and my 2nd floor apartment violently shaking back and forth.

I think I was in a half-sleep state when it happened because I wasn't sure if I was dreaming or not. I just sat upright in bed, frozen. Hell, I'm from TEXAS. I know the 3-step emergency procedure to protect myself from a massive tornado, a mega hurricane, or a devastating flood. But what the hell am I supposed to do during an earthquake? Stop, drop, and roll? Shake, rattle, and roll? Stand in between a door frame? Run? My friend, Mary, on the other side of Tokuyama said she took cover underneath her kitchen table. At 5am in the morning, my reflexes aren't quite at its peak. I just sat there, like a fool who, instead of dashing to safety, stares straight at on-coming highway traffic right before getting plowed.

I need to go back to sleep.

Tonight I have a hot date with Mr. Clean.

One of the perks of my job is that every night could be a Friday night. My job involves little planning, and the generous work day schedule, which usually runs between 2pm-9pm, allows me to party until the wee hours of the morning. The downside to my job is the pathetic, shitty pay.

I'm notorious for my horrible impulsive spending habits. Just look at my closet for proof. Last week I went on a shopping rampage in Hiroshima. When I'm PMS'ing whilst in the midst of endless racks of clothes, I lose all my inhibitions. I buy things just for the sake of buying things. Bringing home several carrier bags with new products delivers a natural high that is more satisfying than chocolate or a man. (Okay, maybe not the latter.) And somehow, during the majority of my time here in Japan, my menstrual cycle has appropriately timed itself to appear whenever my monthly payday rolls around.

It gets worse. I'm the complete antithesis of a homebody. I LOVElovelove to go out. My students and those who know me around here have dubbed me "Genki Karen" because I jump at every opportunity presented to get out of the house. I can enjoy grocery shopping as much as I do going to the local art gallery. During the weeknights I make an effort to go out at least three times. Every Wednesday night is unofficial UNO cards night at Mary's apartment. Thursday nights, after teaching six one-hour classes, are always spent either at the bar, yakitoriya, or the izakaya, rain/shine/tsunami/or typhoon. I've become such a regular at the local Irish pub (Ell's Ditch) that I get the occassional drink or snack free, courtesy of the bartenders. I also go out so much that people, even the locals, refer to me for restaurant/bar/cafe suggestions. But this gallivanting habit is just as financially fatal as my shopping addiction.

So here I am for the first time on a Saturday night at HOME. The lovely Shimenoseki ladies were kind enough to invite me along for a crazy night in Hiroshima tonight. Crystal also gave me a heads up on the rugby game/party/BBQ extravaganza at Miyajima this weekend. But I'm spending this weekend here in sad, lowly Tokuyama. Because there are bills to be paid (damn you fucking keitai bill), and a trip to China to plan for, I'm left with no choice but to make the responsible decision and take it easy. My mother (a CPA) would be so proud.

Monday night I'm going to make up for my shitty weekend. AUSTRALIA vs. JAPAN WORLD CUP PARTY AT BANANA LEAF. Ahhhh, I'll be surrounded by my hottttt European male friends (and one hot New Zealand guy) so hopefully I'll get over it.

Oh well. The bathroom needed a good scrubbing anyway.

Ladies and gentlemen, introducing my hot date for the evening:

And for tonight he's allllllll minnnnnnnnnnnnnne, bitches.

Random

1) I need to stop cussing like a sailor.
2) SHOPPING IN JAPAN IS HOPELESS. Back in America, women barrage me with "Oh, you're so petite!" comments. I'm a comfortable size 4 at home. Here, I can barely squeeze my ass into a pair of jeans without hearing the seams rip.
3) I hate my "massive" breasts. I've never felt so self-conscious about them until I came to Japan. Not only do I see random Japanese men gawking at them, but they contribute to my horrible shopping experiences. Tops, t-shirt's, dresses never fit. Never.
4) I have a bad habit of not locking bathroom doors.
5) I enjoy walking around my house in my underwear.
6) A guy I currently have a crush on keeps telling me that he hopes that I will stay in Japan for another year. I'm not sure how to interpret that.
7) I need to come up with a game plan for my life post-Japan. Or at least after my contract ends in August.
8) I was supposed to travel to China with a friend from the U.S. in August, but I don't know if that's going to happen at all. So if anybody is keen on going to China during o-bon, let me know.
9) My roommate annoys me more and more each day. I hate living with a roommate.
10) I want to go dancing.
11) I need to buy a fucking digital camera to replace the one I lost in the Philippines. I've missed out on so many perfect photo ops (like at Hiroshima's Yukata festival yesterday) because I don't have a camera. Gar.
12) My cousin just got engaged the other week. Being single has its perks, but damn, sometimes I just want a man all for myself.
13) I flirted with a marine I met at a bar last week and the effort paid off last Wednesday: I got access to the base, but the most significant part was lunch at TACO BELL! HELL YEAH. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
14) Why is that most Japanese men can guess that I'm Filipino but the Filipino women/men in Japan (even in the Philippines) can't figure out my ethnicity? Hmmmmm?
15) I wonder if they have an annonymous support group for people addicted to carbohydrates.
16) I love random text messages. Send me some luvin' > karen.diaz@ezweb.ne.jp

I hate PMS

I feel fat, gross, insignificant, unwanted, lonely, and confused.

I want to cry.

If your initials are P.M.S., I'm sorry.

Let's get naked together.

Yasue and I are currently looking for an onsen where there is a konyoku (mixed hot spring) available, preferably a private one you can reserve. If you know of any around the Yamaguchi area, please let me know.

We're also looking to recruit some (hot) men and women to join us. If you're hottttttt AND you practice proper hygeine (i.e. you trim, scrub every nook and cranny, and you use good quality soap -- none of that musty grandpa shit), let me know as well. ORRRRRR if you happen to know Brad Pitt's mobile number, that would be superFANTASTIC.

I've never been in a "tub" with both sexes at the same time. Pre-Japan, I would've squirmed at the idea of exposing my private bits to anybody besides my partner or my gynecologist. I remember my first bare-it-all experience was at a sento ("public" bath) during a teacher's retreat last November. I used to be the kid in the junior high locker room who would go great lengths to be as discreet as possible when time came to change to and from my gym clothes. My perfected maneuver of switching clothes was so swift and quick, it could'ved rivaled that of a magician's. But the sento experience last November was a turning point for me, the once shy junior high gym student. Before I removed even a sock, I had to shed any remaining ounce of insecurities I had of my body. Once that was established, off came the clothes. Then, with a brief moment of hesitation, my underwear. I. Was. Finally. Naked.

Since November, I've been to a few onsens. I love how liberating it is to just non-chalantly walk around in my birthday suit. It's taught me to appreciate my body more, despite its flaws (although you will never ever catch me in a mini skirt). And not to hate on the cute and petite Japanese women, but each time I go, I'm reminded of how lucky I am to have my womanly curves and my vulumptious breasts. Rawr.

So now I'm ready to take on the next level of my nudist conquest. I'm mentally prepared (er, not quite physically) to go to a mixed onsen and offer my naked body as a visual-buffet for a man's straying eyes. Ha, just kidding! Really. But I am comfortable with the idea of going to a konyoku. Hell, why not. As long as we practice self-control (more so for others, ifyouknowwhatImean), it could turn out to be a fun and relaxing time.

Are you in?

FUCK EVERYTHING.
FUCK EVERYBODY.
FUCK.

Sayonara

I love Japan, but after almost 10 months, everything's starting to get a bit old.

I'm ready to take on my next international adventure.

Signs spring has finally arrived in Japan

1. Sakura/Cherry Blossom
2. Cheap strawberries (OMG, ichigo daifuku is to die for)
3. I no longer have to wear 10 layers of clothes just to go to bed.
4. I no longer see my condensation breaths in the kitchen.
5. I no longer curse when I have to ride my bike (although that might change once summer humidty rolls in.)
6. I no longer have to make love to my kerosene heater.
7. I no longer have to worry about defrosting my laundry after I hang it on the balcony to dry.
8. I no longer have to make a half-naked 300kmph dash from my freezer box-like bathroom to my heated room after I take a shower.
9. My shampoo, conditioner, and body wash have all returned to its orignal liquid/gel form.
10. There are more people on the streets.
11. Spring showers.
12. The feeling of sweat.
13. I can finally feel my toes again.
14. Goodbye ass-riding pantyhose and tights.
15. Goodbye bulky, unflattering wool peacoat.
16. New spring menus at the resturants.
17. And, finally, I know it's spring because the ants in my kitchen have returned. One is crawling up my leg as I type. Little motherfuckers.

FUJI ROCK FESTIVAL

Hell yeah.
(July 28, 29, 30)

Mexican dinner night with two Americans, a Brazillan, an Italian, and an Australian in Japan.

I enjoy going to clubs, tearing up the dance floor (pretending to at least), and getting obnoxiously drunk with friends, but that scene gets old veryverrrrrrrrrry quickly. Maybe it's a sign that I'm getting older, but I much prefer total chill and laid-back dinner parties over rowdy bars and clubs. I think having a conservative 41 year-old roommate for the past 7 months is starting to rub off on me. Next week I'm going to discover I have an affinity for making doilies and crepe flower arrangements.

Last Saturday night Mary had Mexican dinner night at her apartment. Roberto, Ronnie, Justin, Mary, and I enjoyed Taco Bell seasoned tacos (I made homemade tortillas!), cheese cake, and two bottles of wine. It was a fabulous, fun-filled night of chatting, picture-snapping, and stuffing our faces with tacos. We already booked a date for our next dinner party. I hope to have these more often, but I'm always up for dancing any night of the week...

St. Patty's Day at Ell's Ditch

Belinda, Mary and I went to Tokuyama's popular Irish pub, Ell's Ditch, tonight for their St. Patrick's Day party. Cheap beer and entertainment was provided by a live Japanese bagpipe player! Cheers to that mate!

Top 10

There's a blog-tag going on in the Xanga blog world (where I keep my other blog) that tells us to list 10 attributes of our ideal man/woman. Here is my take:

The ten attributes to my ideal man are:

1. Funny as hell. Dry wit is the preferred choice of humor, but he's a definite keeper if he can keep me rollin'. He has to make me laugh on my good days, my fat days, my bad hair days, my shitty work days, and on days when my world feels upside down.
2. Is a balance between book smart and street smart.
3. Has goals, ambitions, and plans. Even if some of his goals are a bit far-fetched, at least he knows what he wants out of life. I don't want to waste time with a guy who just dilly-dally's with his life. Or else, where would I fit in the picture?
4. Outgoing and extremely social. Gets along with my friends, my family, his family, his friends, the neighborhood grocery store clerk, and his work colleagues. A guy who is well-rounded, wholesome, and down-to-earth is mm-mmmm sexxxxxxxxy.
5. He has to find me attractive even on the days when I'm too lazy to shave my pits or my legs. Or when I let one rip, because, damnit, everybody farts. Basically, I just want somebody who knows how to make me feel wanted regardless of what I'm wearing, how I'm feeling, or how much weight I've gained.
6. Has substance, character, opinions, and a functioning brain. I've met some guys who....don't.....really....have....much....to...say about anything. I don't like awkward silences.
7. Makes me feel protected. I hate fucking pansies or guys who can't walk the talk.
8. Takes care of his body. Any guy who flosses is always a plus on my book because that means he actually pays attention to the minor details of his health. He has to eat healthy, exercise regularly, drink in moderation, and practice good hygeine. But I'll pass on the metrosexuals, thankyouverymuch.
9. Knows how to please a woman in more ways than one [wink].
10. Has the uncanny ability to make me swoon, giggle, blush all at the same time with the right choice of words, actions, or touch.



Uh, tag, you're (whoever is reading this) it!

bitter cold = bitter mood

While all of my university friends back at home are enjoying the warmth of the sun during their spring break, I'm all the way here in Japan trying to defrost in front of my kerosene heater.

It's March for crissakes and it's still snowwwwing! Spring, where art thou?

Stay 10ft. away.

I'm in a pissy mood right now.

I want to hit something.

!!FASHION FAUX PAS ALERT!!

Hot pink polka-dot Hello Kitty boxers for men. WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG. BurrrRRRRrrnnn every last pair.

Hi. My name is Karen Grace, but you can call me FATSO.

I think the last time I ate something relatively healthy was about three weeks ago. Lately I've been gorging on anything that's fast, convenient, and just enough to hold me down for a few hours. Basically that's anything small enough to be shrink-wrapped and sold at 7-11. Before Christmas, I was on track with my diet. I actually ate a balanced meal that included all the necessary daily intakes of protein, greens, vitamins, fruits, and carbs. But after two weeks of feasting on massive portions of food from my favorite restaurants at home, I've had much difficulty shaking off my holiday appetite. I am living proof that it is possible to gain weight in Japan.

So far today I've eaten a granola bar, two fruit smoothies, an apple danish, fries from McDonald's, 4 gyoza/potstickers, and naan from the supermarket. And it's only 4:30 in the afternoon. I am the queen of carbs, bioooooooooootch.

Tomorrow I'm signing up for the gym.


(And I have less than two months before I have to wear that horrid bikini. Golden Week. Philippines. Two months. Fuck.)

Better than Costco

Free samples of beer at Grand Fuji. o_O

A survey

9 lasts:
1. cigarette: Um, 7th grade?
2. beverage: UCC Gold Special coffee
3. kiss: Last week
4. hug: Today
5. movie seen at the theatre: Casanova in January back when I was in the States
6. cd played: Amos Lee
8. bubble bath: Not a bubble bath, but a relaxing lavender soak. 4 months ago.
9. time you cried: January on the plane heading back to Japan

8 have you ever:
1. dated one of your best friends: no
2. skinny dipped: no, but I'd like to do it in the ocean someday. Wait, does going to the hot spring count?
3. kissed somebody and regretted it: oh hell yes. [shudder]
4. fallen in love: yes
5. lost someone you loved: yes
6. been depressed: yes, especially on my fat PMS days
8. ran away from where you are now? No, although I flirted with the idea of just going MIA after Christmas break during my shitty lonely times here back in August/September.
7. been drunk and threw up: yes. I hatehatehate that feeling. I also think I have a lower tolerance for alcohol than most normal folk.
8. wheres 8?

7 states you've been to:
1. Texas
2. California
3. Colorado
4. New York
5. Louisiana
6. Arkansas
7. Nevada

6 things you did today
1. Went to Iwakuni to look at the famous Kintai bridge w/ Marc
2. Made Japanese gyoza/potstickers
3. Sliced a big chunk of skin on my right index finger with a vegetable peeler
4. Successfully made a damn good breakfast
5. Ate too much cherry-blossom flavored mochi
6. Made a mess in the kitchen

5 favorite things in no order
1. Travelling and experiencing new cultures
2. Shopping and finding great bargains
3. Men. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
4. Socializing and the company of good friends.
5. Coffee!

4 things you ate today
1. German potato pancakes
2. Mos Burger's Kinpira rice burger
3. MOCHI MOCHI MOCHI
4. Dole's Tropical Fruit Mix
5. Calbee vegetable potato sticks


3 people you can tell [pretty much] anything to in no order
1.
2.
3.


2 things you want to be when you grow up
1. a multi-billionaire's wife. Hah hah.
2. HAPPY and content with a loving husband, 2.5 kids, a golden retriever, a mini-van and a white picket fence.

1 thing you regret
1. High school. All of it.

Three strikes

In the past 24 hours:
1. I said "eto ne" outloud inbetween thoughts during class.*
2. I bowed "thank you" to my friend Tamar on the phone.
3. I threw up a peace sign while posing for a picture for the first time without even thinking about it. First I used to do it to playfully mock the Japanese. Then I did it out of habit, but with at least an ounce of conscious effort. Today I realized that it has become an instant reflex.

*"eto ne" is the Japanese equivalent to "umm" or "uhh" in English.

The Naked Man Festival

Two weekends ago I went up to Okayama for the famous Naked Man Festival, or Hadaka Matsuri, to watch 9,000 thong-clad men run around in the freezing winter night in vie for two lucky wands. Men running around with big, white diapers riding up their ass? Fighting for two so-called "lucky" sticks like a massive pack of ravenous pigs? In the frigid cold? Apparently, only in Japan.

It was complete chaos, but probably one of my more exciting nights spent in Japan. The whole night was a non-stop 12-hour party. Oh yeah, and I had to teach the following afternoon. It was probably not one of my wisest or most responsible moves as a teacher, but sod it, I did it all for the sake of soaking in some unique Japanese culture. And if they had a Naked Woman Festival the following week, I would've so been there as well. Er, maybe.

Back that asssssssssss up!

These Japanese runners looked so emaciated, I was almost tempted to throw food at them.

Tom, Yasue, and Marc striking a pose for the camera.

I met these crazy JETs from Fukuyama for the first time and hung out with most of them the rest of the night.Sleepy, beat, red-eyed Pete and Yasue.
I didn't get to see these fellas run (I didn't get to see anybody really), but I was fortunate enough to get a little peek-show from Bill and Rory before the real festival began. The peace sign is contagious.
Bill's swollen ass after getting beat up by the hordes of men. HAHAHAHAhahh.
I kept running around behind the men "air-spanking" them and yelling "who's yo daddy?"

And for anyone who wants a hilarious video from the festival [cough: Pete], download Josh's video > click here

Weird fact numero 498689077

Everytime I hear ABBA's "Dancing Queen" I get this sudden urge to sing Karaoke and dance.

You had to be there.

A short video taken at the Hadaka Matsuri (Naked Man Festival) in Okayama last Saturday. Puny, pale bare asses galore!

In the video you'll see a swarm of men running around in cloth-diapers/thongs trying to get a hold of the lucky stick. You'll also hear me and the other female spectators screaming because the men rammed into us like it was the rugby championship game. Good golly, I think I left with a few minor bruises, but it was well worth the fun. You had to be there.

Pictures to follow. Hurrah!

Shameless plug

http://kevan.org/johari?name=graciediaz

What do you think?

I like him. I like him not.

I think being a relatively fresh single woman (as of two months ago) on Valentine's Day was a little hard for me to cope with. GAH. I admit it. I was [cough] am lonely. Want another confession? I actually LOVE Valentine's Day. I enjoy spoiling my significant other silly with oodles of premium chocolates and ridiculous, over-the-top heart themed novelties. But, nope, not this year.

It's pathetic that I feel this way. It's more embarassing that I'm even admitting it. But it's the raw truth and perhaps it's the driving force behind my next confession: I want him. BAD.

Him. The Italian race car driver.

I think it's been a combination of post-traumatic Valentine's Day loneliness and being drunk with this immense desire to nurture, be nurtured, receive affection and attention that has led me to feel this way. I mean, that's the only feasible explanation I have. Valentine's Day was, afterall, just two days ago and I've never felt like this towards him before.

I....like....him.

Before it was just "fooling around" (no worries; I'll spare you with the details) with no emotional attachment involved. I was so infatuated with his status (for crissakes, he's a race car champion), his ethnic background (Italian, oooh la la), and his looks. Any ounce of attention he would give me, I would reciprocate with googly eyes and sporadic interjections of flirtatious giggles. I was a fucking sick teenybopper. My impression of him was distorted by many of the aforementioned factors. He was my real-life Ken (Barbie) doll, and honestly, having him only in the physical level was fine for me. He satisfied the physical cravings I had held in for so long from my failed long-distance relationship. I had no obligations towards him with an emotional-baggage free ride. It was, for what it was worth, just what I needed here in Japan.

Recently I've seen more of him than I have in the past 4 months that I've known him. I've seen him 5 times this week on separate occassions. I've also gotten to know him more, and more than just the roof of his mouth. He's funny. He's sincere. He has a genuine interest in the things I have to say. He's freaking adorable when I see him revert to a 10 year-old boy whenever he's around his roommate (they act like brothers). And I was a total goner when he expressed the best hospitality manners when I came to visit his apartment yesterday.

We haven't done anything in the past few weeks. Mostly it's because we've been in the company of other friends. But when he dropped me off at my apartment last night after having dinner with Mary last night, there was nothing. By nothing, I mean there was no hug, kiss... nothing, just a wave and a brief "good-bye". He was so non-chalant about it, and that's what bothers me the most.

WTF. I got a good dose of much-needed girlie talk and men consultation from Mary via MSN messenger quickly right after. She fed me the much needed "I got the vibe that he digs you" talk, but that only offered temporary relief (thanks for trying though, Mary). His behaviour boggles my mind. At first, we were on a roll comfortably treading water in the shallow end, but I know clue where we stand now! If he's not interested in me in any aspect, I would rather have him say "good riddance!" and refuse my invitations. He didn't have to buy me drinks at Ell's Ditch on Saturday or go for Indian and drinks on Monday. He didn't have to go to dinner with me and Mary late last night, considering he was already full before he cam. Again, I stress, WTF.

Is this universal behaviour for men? Is this how they do it in Italy? Is this expected and common behaviour of race car drivers? Answers! I need answers.

A part of me wants to believe that maybe since we've actually attained a friendship that he respects me more? Or maybe I've put him off in other areas physically, but he stills wants to maintain a friendship? I guess either way, it's a win-win situation as long as he still puts forth effort in whatever relationship we have.

This was all inevitable. I only wanted a crush, a measly "oh he's sooo hot and fun to admire from afar" kind of crush. Then I wanted a friendship, totally platonic and innocent. Eventually it led to wanting something more, and ultimately "I likelikelike HIM".

This isn't healthy, mentally or emtionally. Next time I think I'm going to stick to crushing on the Backstreet Boys or gorgeous gay men, then there will be little room left for dissappointment. And next year, if you happen to need me on February 14, I'll be in Burkina Faso hiding under a rock.

The Soundtrack to my Valentine's Day

These are some of the songs that I listen to whenever I need a good cry. The songs with an (*) asterick are songs that get me bawling all the time.

1. I Can't Make You Love Me - Bonnie Rait*
2. At the Stars - Better Than Ezra
3. The Greatest - Cat Power
4. Fix You - Coldplay*
5. The Blowers Daughter - Damien Rice*
6. Wild Horses - Charlotte Martin
7. Colors - Amos Lee
8. Seen It All Before - Amos Lee
9. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
10. Weird - Hanson
11. Apologize - One Republic
12. Float On - Modest Mouse
13. Somewhere In Between - Lifehouse*
14. Good Enough - Sarah McLachlan* (or pretty much her entire Surfacing CD)
15. One Fine Day - Natalie Merchant
16. Shelter - Ray LaMontagne
17. Winding Road - Bonnie Somerville
18. Caring is Creepy - The Shins
19. Do You Realize - The Flaming Lips
20. Brighter Than Sunshine - Aqualung*
21. Long December - Counting Crows
22. You Belong To Me - Jason Wade (of Lifehouse)
23. Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
24. Split Screen Sadness - John Mayer
25. You - Switchfoot*
26. The Scientist - Coldplay
27. Strong Enough - Sheryl Crow*
28. Everything - Lifehouse*
29. One Sweet Day - Boyz II Men & Mariah Carey
30. A Sorta Fairytale - Tori Amos
31. Fast Car - Tracy Chapman*
32. Held - Natalie Grant*
33. I Need You - The Swift*
34. Snow Patrol - Run
35. Brick - Ben Folds Five
36. Just Another Day - Jon Secada (early 90's...ahhh)
37. I'll Remember - Madonna
38. Stay - Lisa Loeb
39. BeBe Your Love - Rachael Yamagata
40. How Can You Mend a Broken Heart - Al Green
41. Through the Dark - KT Tunstall
42. The Nearness of You - Norah Jones*
43. Have a Little Faith In Me - John Hiatt*
44. Fields of Gold - Sting*
45. Landslide - Fleetwood Mac
46. Tears In Heaven - Eric Clapton

And my theme song for Valentine's Day: All By Myself - Jamie O'Neal

Peek-a-boo

I never knew wearing my birthday suit could be so much fun until I came to Japan.

HAADO GEI

Starring me in my plastic pregnant suit and Charlene. Oh c'mon, I know you practice the famous haado gei thrusts in front of the mirror everyday.


For those outside of Japan: Who is Haado Gei?

Here, there, everywhere

On top of my trip to the Philippines in a few months, I'm also trying to coordinate my Asian backpacking excursion in August with my friend Charmaine. Today she forwarded me a list of places her friend suggested she visit here in Asia and OH MY GOD are all the places he mentioned beautiful. My original itinerary was only limited to China, but hot damn, if I skip out on the chance to visit some of these places, I don't think I'll ever forgive myself. EVER.

Bagan, Myanmar




Si Phan Don, or 4000 Islands, Laos

Yangshuo, China

And/Or Nepal... Mongolia... Anybody else have any other suggestions?

I don't know how I'm going to afford it all. I guess I should start skimping on groceries now.

Must. Think. Warm. thoughts.

It's snowing outside AGAIN. So, to warm me up, I'm going to think of warm thoughts such as my upcoming Golden Week holiday (April 27-May7) to...

[drumroll please]

Manila & Boracay Philippines.

Eyesore.

I don't know how any of my students can take me seriously when I always come to class dressed like a clown.

Get this: today I wore an unflattering, mousy grey, A-line French Connection skirt that's one-size too big, circa 1999 (it crawled into my suitcase, I swear) with a burnt-sepia wool, multi colored, vintage print zip-up hoodie. On top of my lame, 80's regurgitated ensemble, I piled on my bulky, bright red peacoat. I perfected the look with panty hose, unshaved legs, yellow Froot of the Loom ankle socks, and casual beige flats.

And sadly, yes, I do own a mirror.

In my defense, winter discourages fashion. I dress for warmth. Please see post below.

And you thought you had it bad.

I miss my car.

It's taken me six months to accept the fact that the only way to get from point A to point B, C, Q or Z in small-town Japan is by bicycle. And then yesterday my bloody tires blew out. It has a mutha-friggen hole!!!!! All it took was one teeny-tiny grain of a hole to ruin my entire day.

I don't take delight in walking my bike down the main street of Tokuyama. Bikes are meant to be ridden on, not walked like a dog. I especially don't enjoy rolling the only set of two wheels that I own to the bike shop in typhoon-like winds and torrential, freezing rain only to discover that the shop is CLOSED!

A USELESS BIKE + A CLOSED BIKESHOP = MY LIFE PUT ON HOLD

Oh, woe is me.

Symbolic art.

This is how I feel about teaching sometimes.

In-cog-ni-to

I did a random google search for my name and the first query result was my blogger profile. Stupid sneaky page caches. (o_O)

So if you're reading this and you happen to be my mom, father, boss, student, school staff, or a potential employer, please do me a favor and click on the [x] button on the top right-hand corner of this window.

Thanks. Have a nice day.

Attention all Japanese innovative geniuses:

Japan is renowned around the world for its cutting-edge technology, fancy gizmos & gadgets, and super-sleek cars. They come up with the most brilliant inventions and have a knack for making anything that's battery operated more functional and more portable. What rattles my brain, though, is that Japan can build a humanoid robot that can perform simple house tasks, but they can't build properly insulated houses with a proper heating/cooling system. Sure, I can rock my super sugoi keitai. I can also ride on the ultra fast 300/km bullet train, and I can take pictures with my micro-sized digital camera. But once I get home I have to huddle in front of my hazardous kerosene heater or else I'll freeze my ass off. WTF.

The coldness and dampness in my house makes every minute daily task more daunting, such as brushing my teeth, washing the dishes, and rolling out of bed. It's so cold in my house that my toiletries in my bathroom are half-frozen, and when inside my kitchen, condensation clouds form when you breath. I also can't imagine being accustomed to the feeling of numbness as a good thing for my health.

I'm fed up with sleeping with 10 layers of clothes. I'm fed up with hauling the damn 456708965 lb. jug of kerosene up the stairs. I'm fed up with pumping the bloody gas into the heater and then splattering it all over my clothes. I'm fed up with having to make a mad, partially naked dash from the shower to my heated room. In a nutshell, I'm fed up with winter in Japan.

But if I can't ask for the warmth of spring in the middle of February, can I at least ask for a radiator? Centralized heating? Please? Somebody?

Do Not Disturb.

I've been under the weather lately. I don't want to go anywhere, do anything, or see anybody. I have no motivation to teach, clean up the shit in my room, or cook myself dinner. I just want to lie in bed in my flannel pajamas and listen to depressing Sarah McLachlan tunes all day.

Leave me alone. I've got PMS and the winter blues.

On a cultural high.

I went to Yamaguchi this afternoon to get my cultural fix. First we hit the Yamaguchi Art and Media Culture Center to check out the Syn Cron exhibit. It's this huge, hollow geometrical blob completely wired with lights that flashes/pulses in sync with the electronic sound waves, hence the name.

Every patron was given a cushion, so Hiromi and I just got comfortable and spread out in the center of the floor and laid there for an hour. Gah. It was too much visual stimulation; I'm still recovering from my headache. Maybe next time I'll just stick to paintings.

Next stop: the Five Story Pagoda. What made the trip extra special was the wooden buddha they had on display. The buddha was revealed to the public this week for the first time in [puts on best enthusiastic voice] 500 years!

Honestly, it was too cold for me to care.

Even though this is my 6th month in Japan, this was my first time to visit the pagoda. I think I'm cramming too much Japanese architecture into such a short amount of time -- everything is slowly beginning to lose its "oooooh ahhh" appeal. After spending three days in Kyoto last November, I'm still all temple/pagoda/shrine'd out. It's fun to take cheesy tourist shots though (and I also happen to be Asian. We're all camera whores. It's in our blood, like, yenno, kung-fu.)

One place I haven't been to enough times since I've been here are onsens! I would love to go to make a trip to Beppu and just soak in all their hyped up hot springs until I turn into a wrinkled-up raisin.

I would also like to try skinny dipping in the ocean while I'm here. Hm. Maybe I'll give it more thought once it gets warmer.

I used to be one of the shy girls in the girl's locker room at high school. Now I think I've gotten way to comfortable with getting naked since I've been here in Japan. :)

Abhor. Loathe. Hate. Despise. All of the above.

Five Random Things I hate:

1. Cockroaches. Big ones, small ones, fat ones, flying ones, I hate them all. Even if sometime down the road, scientists discovered that they held the secret cure to cancer, diabetes, impotence, world hunger, and/or pre-mature bailding, I'd still hate them.
2. Getting stuck in bumper-to-bumper rush hour traffic with the sun glaring directly at your eyes. Oh yeah, and the A/C's busted too.
3. Diarrhea and getting it when there is no toilet to be found for miles and miles away. Or the lethal combination of PMS cramps, diarrhea, and a pounding migraine. Because, yeah, life isn't fair sometimes.
4. Credit card bills because sometimes I do wish that money grew on trees.
5. My 2 o'clock conversation class with Sachiko. I'd rather talk to a rock. Actually, I might as well talk to a rock because she is possibly the dullest person I have ever met. I'm totally convinced she has a personality deficiency because she is completely devoid of any opinion or thought! I dread Thursdays because I know that for one hour of the day I'm going to have to suffer through at least 30 minutes of awkward silences and bouts of "soo, how was your weekend?" I've tried coming up with brilliant plans for class, but they quickly go to the wayside as she never gives me any feedback. Her sentences usually comprise of short mumbles mixed in with grunts and a string of multiple "oh's". Forget about talking about social issues, politics, or relationships.....forget about talking at all. Gah. Her class gives me a headache.

On the other hand....

After Sachiko's class, I teach my two adorable level 1 students, Asae and Yuka. They say teachers shouldn't play favorites, but if Sachiko is on one polar end of the spectrum, then these girls are on the opposite end, ifyaknowwhatimsayin.

We just learned the adjective "ugly" in this picture and this was their best interpretation of it.

Fessacchione!!

I refuse to consider my recent behavior as something that spurted out of a deep feeling of desperation. But given the recent circumstances of my personal life, hell, I am lonely and I am on the rebound. And that god-forsaken holiday is coming up in exactly two weeks.

My ex and I broke up in December. It was a turbulent one-year relationship, and I think it took only one month into the long-distance bit for me to realize that maybe, just maybe, it wasn't going to work out. Even though I kept the status attached until December, my heart was out of the relationship at least three months prior. So by mid-January, after two weeks of recouperating back home in Texas, I already adopted the "single-and-ready-to-mingle" mindset.

My first weekend back in Japan I went to my first gaijin (foreigner) party in town. It felt so liberating knowing that I had the freedom to flirt with any guy there, given that they weren't already taken or gay. I ended up "hooking up" with a guy that night (or whatever the kids call it these days), but I think the prospect of "hooking up" again in the future has been kaput as of last weekend. Basically, at least what I gathered from our second meet-up, was that he must've been really drunk the first night. Last weekend he was sober, and yeah, he hasn't contacted me since. [sigh] Bummer.

And then there's Ronnie Quintarelli, my first gaijin friend in Tokuyama. He's an Italian race car driver (2004 F3 champion) whom I had met at a restaurant in Kudamatsu back in November. He's also fucking HOTT.... and funny.... and interesting to talk to, but he's also a dangerous mix of Italian blood and professional race car driver. That easily translates to a modern-day, woman-seducing Casanova and bonafide player.

Every bone in my body tells me that there's nothing in this guy for me except for eye candy. Everybody warns me that I'm possibly not the only girl he's seeing. So I have no earthly idea why the hell I keep going out with him.

Sort of.

Ronnie gives me attention. He calls me every now and then and he even bothered to send me e-mails and Christmas greetings over the holidays. Ok, so maybe calling it attention is an overstatement, but I find it flattering enough that he would even give me the time of day. For pete's sake, it's not every day I have an exotic European man asking me out.

We went out for dinner tonight to WaraWara (sp) in the "downtown" area. I've been there maybe three times before and just the other day, I got aquainted with one of the waitresses, Kaori, after bumping into her on the street. Apparently, she's the only waitress who speaks English because whenever I go to her restaurant (everytime with other foreigners) we get shoved in the same corner, her corner. So when she saw us come in the restaurant, she seemed so surprised to see me with him. She actually waited on his table when he went there last Sunday, and I could instantly tell by the glimmer in her eyes that she fancied him. She could barely even mutter the question "are... you... guys... together?"

No, we're not together. We're not anything. But I'm still on a fucking date with Ronnie. I think sometime during the middle of dinner, he forgot. He seemed so fascinated by the fact that she spoke some english (although I'm fully convinced it's only enough to take food orders) and the bastard even got distracted or possibly mesmerized by her cleaning up the table next to us. As a side note, she did take awfully long to wipe off the table... as if a fucking family of 8 with ADHD kids sat there and spattered sauce all over the table.

When he went to the till to pay the tab, she put on her best cutes-y , flirty, Japanese-y smile. Ugh, and the look he gave her in return. At that moment I wanted to take my super-kawaii keitai and bash her head in. No, I'm his Tokuyama woman, biatch.

This isn't like me, any of this. I've never fancied flirting/hooking up with guys I just met at bars. I don't date men who are sooooooooo obviously wrong for me. I would've never, ever in a million years tolerated a guy who had no shame undressing a woman with his eyes who doesn't happen to be me, during a date. And I definitely would've never bothered to get all fussed up over some petty exchange of flirtatious glances between a guy who I had no claim over and some chick.

So why did I allow him to drive me up one particular mountain that has one of those "spectacular views" of the city after dinner tonight? Because perhaps, yes, I was desperate for an ounce of affection and attention. I've also been quite lonely and... on the rebound. But most of all, recently, I've just been plain stupid and dumb.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Or fessacchione, idiot in Italian.

Shake, Rattle, and Roll

I...............think...............I just felt an................earthquake.

The many faces of Charlene and Karen

A silly aussie, an obnoxious American, a digital camera, a self-timer, and plenty of time to kill while waiting for your lunch at a cafe: a perfect goofy picture opportunity! Viola!

First post.

This blogspot is my 456789th online journal since 1999.

And I've got purple feeee-vahhhh!